MALE CIRCUMCISION GRIEF: Effective and ineffective therapeutic approaches

Lindsay Watson (lwatson@xtra.co.nz)
Tom Golden (golden@webhealing.com)

Abstract

Cultural circumcision has been an under recognized cause of male body-loss grief. Male circumcision grief is now being more commonly expressed. We evaluated the experiences of 22 men who sought therapy for circumcision grief. We found that therapists were reluctant to accept that the grief was real, were unaware of foreskin functions, denied circumcision had physical or psychological sequelae and minimized patient grief using humor, cultural aesthetics, controversial health benefits, sexism and an erroneous understanding of penile anatomy and sexual function. Male therapists were more likely to deny that circumcision is harmful and to be less empathetic than female therapists. We discuss methods to help make circumcision grief therapy more effective for men.

Keywords: male circumcision, therapy, body-loss, grief, cultural bias

Author Biographies

Lindsay Watson is an independent researcher currently co-authoring a book on the history of male pedocircumcision in New Zealand. In 2014, he published Unspeakable Mutilations: Circumcised Men Speak Out, an anthology of personal accounts by men psychologically and physiologically harmed by being circumcised as children, since translated into German. Lindsay was invited to participate in Otago University’s New Zealand Sexual Histories Workshop in 2015. He has had papers published on nineteenth century sexual quackery in New Zealand, medical constructions of congenital phimosis in twentieth century New Zealand, the purity crusades in early twentieth century New Zealand and the anti-masturbation fervor in New Zealand from 1860 to 1960 (New Zealand Journal of History, Vol.5, No.1). 

Tom Golden is well known for his first book  Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing which opened the conversation about men, grief, and emotions.  It was acclaimed by Kubler-Ross, Hope Edelman and others.  Tom has also written The Way Men Heal and recently a book for moms Helping Mothers be Closer to Their Sons: Understanding the Unique World of Boys. He enjoys giving workshops in the U.S., Canada, Europe and Australia, having been named the “1999 International Grief Educator” by the Australian Centre for Grief Education.  His work and his web site webhealing.com have been featured in the NY Times, Washington Post, as well as on CNN, CBS Evening News, ESPN and the NFL Channel. He served as the Vice Chair of the Maryland Commission for Men’s Health and maintains a private practice in Gatihersburg Md. Find his men’s issues work at menaregood.com

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